Up at Oxford today for the ACCU 2011 conference - specifically for the annual meeting/bloodbath where presumably they will be choosing a new Conference chair and committee members. This should prove interesting as the old boys are finally putting their collective foot down with the conference committee and imposing some sorely needed democracy and transparency as well as fiscal responsibility into the process.
We shall see. One lives in hope.

Three curses of increasing severity

May you live in interesting times
May you come to the attention of those in authority (May the government be aware of you).
May you find what you are looking for. (May your wishes be granted).

Have you seen Sfogliatelle in London??

For reasons unknown it is impossible to find this Italian pastry, called Sfogliatelle, in London.


WHY?????


I've searched all over Greater London, talked with shop-owners, people I meet, restaurants, farmers markets. searched the web, everything. Nada.
How can London not have these sublime pastries?


I've seen some vaguely similar pastries here but they are filled with greasy sugar "creme". The real pastries are baked with a ricotta cheese and candied citron filling.
The photo above is of a classic sfogliatelle served at Ferrara's in New York City. A San Francisco restaurant owner was recently quoted as saying...
"The sfogliatelle from Ferrara's in New York City. They are a textural party in my mouth. Crispy, creamy, moist, powdery joy and not too sweet. All I need is one of them and a double espresso."

Loved the teacher's comments on this.

Sadly the site I found this on now seems to be dead or down.

A Jew was studying Hebrew in Old Soviet Union
and a guard came to him and said: 'Stop wasting
your time. We're not allowing you to go to Israel.
Why would you study Hebrew?'

The Jew answered: 'If I go to Heaven, I'd like to
speak G~d's language and be understood.'

The guard replied: 'Well, what if you go to Hell?'

The Jew finally said: 'Don't worry, I know Russian
rather well.'

Happy New Year 2011

It was a pretty decent Christmas and New Years Eve. We even managed to fit in a visit to Asti over on the other side of London. We had dinner at Ron & Hillary's along with Pete & Laurie on New Years Eve and all watched the midnight fireworks. Amazingly, TPTB in London finally got the fireworks right; this year's display was fabulous, impressive, and beautiful. I made profiteroles for our dessert - the recipe is on my recipe blog Tales from the Kitchen Table.
It was actually a well needed rest for Alan and me.

If it's not one thing, it's another

I ventured out of the house on Monday in sub-zero temps to clear the snow off the car and drive to the local Tesco for milk and bread. The car was covered in 4 inches of snow and a layer of ice beneath that. But I did manage to get the door open and the engine started right up - what a relief. But after I'd carefully and thoroughly cleaned all the snow and ice off the car and was ready to leave for the store, I decided to just give my wipers a little flick to check that the washer fluid was working ok. I worried that it might have frozen, even though I filled it with winter -20 C type washer fluid. So I turned on the switch and - nada. No washer fluid, no wiper movement,  and no wiper motor sound; just silence. Checked that the bit where the wiper arm mechanism attaches was ice free - but still no joy. Thought I was give it a chance to warm up from the fierce car heater blowing air onto the windshield.  Nada. No front wipers, no rear wiper.

The car just passed its MOT perfectly last week. This is out of the blue and frustrating. Because of the chaos from snow and freezing temps and Christmas holidays almost on top of us, all the local Honda dealers are over-booked for repairs. Same for the couple of local garages I trust. My neighbour who usually does my car repairs can't really work outside in sub-zero temps. And electrical repairs are expensive. So this will all have to wait until next week or just after New Years. It's just not safe to drive without windshield wipers. Even if it's not raining or snowing, a car or truck could splash filth or water onto my car when I'm driving and I would be blinded without wipers. Arrgh! Frustrating.

When Wedding Photographers Get Photoshop Insanity

Can you spot the insanity in this photo?

After Death Wishes

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Rabbi
are discussing what they would like people to say
after they die and their bodies are on display in
open caskets.

Priest: I would like someone to say "He was a righteous
man, an honest man, and very generous."

Minister: I would like someone to say "He was very kind
and fair, and he was very good to his parishioners."

Rabbi: I would want someone to say, "Oh look! He's
moving!"

Someday your prince charming will come; unless he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Early Birthday Surprise

Tonight, when Alan arrived home from work, he handed me a very prettily wrapped box with a card wishing me a Happy Birthday. Ten days early but I couldn't resist opening it immediately. Yes! It was the 1TB Samsung portable usb hard drive I've been drooling over and wishing for. The perfect birthday present. I'm so pleased he got exactly what I wanted rather than taking me out to dinner or buying me some jewellery. I have piles of jewellery already and going out to dinner at a restaurant is nice but nothing extraordinary. But a 1TB portable HD? Ooooooooh, drool!

I know, I know, but I'm so pleased, so happy.

And it's still snowing. Day 3 now. Everything covered with an increasing layer of white. The road are impossible a third world nightmare. I just hope the Tesco delivery truck is able to bring the grocery order tomorrow. The whole country is in a transportation crisis, near paralysed by the bad weather. We're only taking  few centimeters here, mind you, but it's panic time in Great Britain.

How Computers Can Suck the Joy Out of Life Sometimes

This has been a really bad 6 weeks for me in terms of computer hardware.

To start with, I was talked into exchanging computers with my husband. (Don't let this happen to you, girls and boys! Just say no!)

I won't go into what a nightmare and disaster the exchange was. Nor the massive loss of important files that it caused. 

Then my router died. But my ISP, of course, didn't believe me when I called it in and made me jump through hoops testing everything on their insane check-list for dummies before they finally conceded that I was correct,  she's dead Jim, send the lady a replacement router. OK, that's usually a next day delivery - especially as I had called my ISP before 8am. But no, they neglected to mention that they were out of routers - in the end it was 6 days before the replacement arrived because there was a weekend in the middle of it all. So the replacement arrives - after 6pm of course, meaning I sat home all day waiting for a DHL package that was placed on the local delivery van at 8am and trundled all around London before being dropped off. Mind you, the local DHL warehouse is about a 7 minute drive from my house so I did offer to pick it up but was refused. 

Anyway, it's night and I finally get the new router, connect all the cables and power it up. And....

The Internet light doesn't come on. All the other lights are merrily glowing bright green but the Internet light remains sullenly dark. Being an IT person, I start to methodically check everything it could possibly be. Turn router off and then back on, reset router, check that phone line is live, check router control panel in my browser, etc. Finally, I call my ISP. Explain all the troubleshooting I've done but as usual, they treat me as if I was lying, and demand I go through the same routine I've just done to eliminate the obvious possible problems. They finally concede that it MIGHT be something on their end but it would need a 2nd level support tech. I go through to 2nd level support and the idiot woman there who is NOT an engineer or any sort of real tech person by any definition is clueless and tries to get me to go thru the exact same testing routine. I tell her to read the ticket's notes. She demands I unscrew the central phone block and reconnect my router to the test block inside the wall. She refuses to check if the issues are on the ISP end, claims that isn't possible. (Chorus of, "Oh Yes It Is!"). I tell her I have to hang up to disconnect the phone block etc and get the case number. Then I get a drink, light a cigarette and curse incompetent tech support to the depths of hell. 

When I call back the ISP 10 min later, I tell them I have an open case, give them the ticket number, and ask them to pass me on to 3rd level support as the 2nd level tech said she couldn't figure out what was wrong with the router. Finally!! As soon as I spoke to the 3rd level tech support guy, I knew this was a professional at last. He asked to review the ticket first, then asked me a couple of sensible questions - and listened to my answer. He said he thought the problem was indeed on the ISP's side, hang on a moment - I heard him typing, and voila! I was connected to the Internet. And yes, the little green light was now glowing brightly. He said there was an ongoing issue with static IPs and account configurations not being saved properly.  So after only 3 hours of tech support hell, I was back online.

But there was more aggro to come. The new laptop started shutting down randomly. Alan said it was probably just overheating.  Erm, JUST overheating? You just took away my reliable if clunky old PC tower to give me your unreliable laptop? I was assured that if I raised the laptop by putting it on a wire rack, the improved air circulation would prevent it overheating. Ok, it's on the wire rack, it stopped overheating.

For almost a week. Till tonight. Just now. 

Hmmmm. I'm thinking about the agony I went through installing Win7 on this laptop. And installing all the apps, and transferring files. And the lost files. and on and on.

And now, I have no idea if the thing is going to up and die on me. If? More like when.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey has struck out.

Finally Back Online Again!

Last Thursday at approximately 6am my router died and I lost internet access. Despite calling my ISP, O2 before 8am. it was only finally tonight at 6pm that the new router arrived. And of course when I plugged it in there was still no internet and I was required to call O2 tech support and argue with first line moro//tech support that the issue needed to be escalated to higher support, when I reached 2nd level support they were slightly better but still basically idiots. I finally ended up calling back again and this time I was passed on by sheer chance to 3rd level support who took a look at the files, chatted with me for a moment and then admitted that there might be a config problem on their end. Twenty seconds later I had internet access and the network engineer (yes, a real network engineer NOT a tech-support-droid) was apologising for the 5 day insanity, delat, and aggro.

Anyway, finally! back online. I'm putting off doing my email until tomorrow because I HAVE HAD IT for today. It's a cold glass of white wine and a smoke for me.

When men mess with their wife's computer or Where have all my movies gone?

So, my massive film archive is gone. Into the bit bucket, gone with the wind. A product of 6 years of careful and often difficult collecting, lovingly selected. Six years of films I will probably not be able to collect back in their entirety.

Bastard!

Basically several years ago Alan pressured, whinged, moaned, and talked me into getting a used but powerful development computer from the company he worked for before it went into Administration. Being basically a nice person I finally agreed and carefully transferred all my files to the new machine. My old laptop was then reconfigured for linux. All my films were neatly organised in a folder, cleanly named, and actually regularly watched. But then about 6 months ago Alan started hassling me that the big computer was using too much power and producing too much heat blah blah blah and I should trade it for his laptop that he wasn't using.

After dragging my feet for months he finally got so insistent and annoying that I stupidly gave in. It was one of those things were it was just not worth the cost to our relationship as he was making it into a cause celebre. Because the video files were so huge by this point, he brought home a portable drive for me to transfer my films onto. I copied all my video files onto the drive and then discovered that the laptop wasn't going to be able to hold them all. We agreed that I would get my own portable drive after I got back from NYC and the files could stay on the portable drive until then.Because it was really Alan's work portable drive, I did move 30 GB of files onto my laptop to free up some workspace for him. But my remaining stored files all had names like Barb's files to transfer - do not delete!

So I went away to NYC and when I got home, my computer had been wiped clean and re-installed/re-configured as a linux development machine. So ok, since then I have been sorting out and setting up my laptop and because WIN 7 is so very different than Win XP it wasn't until tonight that I reached almost the end of the alphabet - Videos - and discovered that about 80 GB of classic films, the most irreplaceable, rare, and cherished of my collection were MISSING ! So I went to the portable drive, figuring they were on that but no, nada, not there....

And yes, Alan had deleted them from the portable drive.

That's all I can say about this. I'm just stunned by it all.

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong admit it;
Whenever you’re right shut up.


- Ogden Nash

Lead up to a Wedding

A week from now Astrid & I will depart Heathrow airport for New York and my son Andrew's wedding. I'm pleased and excited for Andrew and Joanna and happy the long wait is almost over for them.

I've made lists of what I need to buy here in the UK to bring to the US for friends and family and another list of what I need to buy while in the US to bring home with me. There are surprisingly many items mutually unavailable in one or the other; usually simple common things we're so accustomed to having available that there's a real culture shock when we find ourselves up against a brick shopping wall.

In the US we're talking about simple things like:
Noxzema
Jiffy corn muffin mix
Jello pudding mix
Bisquick
Jalapeno peppers
Hellman's mayonnaise (The Hellman's mayo sold in the UK uses a different recipe and is revolting)
Neosporin cream

In the UK, there's a few things I'll be buying:
Airwaves gum (brilliant for instantly clearing stuffy sinuses)
Olbas oil
Ribena

This weekend I need to buy a dress for the wedding (which I will reuse for formal dinner nights when we sail home on the QM2). Probably buy other bits and pieces for the voyage home since Cunard makes it quite clear they don't favor jeans at any time on the QM2.

The Politics of Burning Sacred Books

All 1st amendment arguments aside, I find the recent ruckus and international outrage over some rabble-rousing Florida pastor's plan to burn Korans on 9/11 utterly hypocritical and revealing. That's because what's not being said about this situation is that he also plans to burn Talmuds. Why is no one denouncing the planned burning of the Talmud? Is it ok to burn Jewish sacred texts but not Islamic? Is it acceptable to insult Jews but not Muslims?


Why didn't Obama speak out and denounce the intention of burning Talmuds along with the Koran? What about the Pope? Why didn't he mention the Talmuds along with the Koran in his statement? The UN, the UK government, and on and on and on.


Why?
Well, I'm pretty sure I know why. I suspect you know why. I know no one is going to say it because, well it's not politically correct to say these things, is it?


Actually, Fidel Castro says it. Fidel has even spoken out and told Iran's leader Ahmadinejad, "Stop Slandering the Jews". No other world leader has even whispered it.


It is Rosh Hashanah today and although I am a secular Jew, I am in a reflective mood.

Nurse Jeffrey - The Bitch Tapes

I've just discovered this hilarious little digital spinoff of the excellent House MD TV series.
It's available on the Fox website for US based viewers I've been told. I found it on YouTube. A quick search will get you the whole 13 episode series.

Basically Nurse Jeffrey was a very minor bit character on a House episode where House fleetingly mocked him with the old canard about male nurses. The totally psycho but lame disproportional response by Nurse Jeffrey is the basic premise of the spinoff series.

Very clever, very amusing, very evil, and very politically incorrect. Dontcha just love that?

Children

 Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of
 Children."

 And he said:

 Your children are not your children.

 They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

 They come through you but not from you,

 And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

 You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

 For they have their own thoughts.

 You may house their bodies but not their souls,

 For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

 You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like 

you.

 For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

 You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are 

sent forth.

 The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He 

bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

 Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

 For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also 

the bow that is stable.

-- Kahlil Gibran

Inception

I've tried 3 times to watch this film and see why people keep raving about it. I'm sorry but I just can't see what they see in it. I think it's BORING crap. I guess I'm not all that impressed with CGI and I've read too much good literature and seen too many brilliant films to be fooled by the Emperor's New Clothes any more.


Don't get me wrong, I do have a taste for crumby movies sometimes - but the one thing I do demand of them is a coherent storyline. And Inception simply does not have that. Huge plot holes all over and not in any forgivable way. You think blurring the lines of real and not real in a film to deliberately confuse the viewer makes it deep and meaningful? Nah, in this case it's smoke and mirrors to cover bullshit and lousy values. And finally, you should never, never, never need Cliff Notes for a film.


My idea of a film which does a marvelous job of spinning a compelling story where you don't know what is real and what is not, in a dreamlike way, is "Picnic at Hanging Rock". Compelling is the appropriate word for the film, the story, and the experience.  Sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, aboriginal dream-time - beautiful film-making.


So, I'm sorry but I give up on Inception. It's terribly overrated. 

Wedding Invitation!!

Today the invitation to Joanna and Andrew's wedding finally arrived in the mail! It's been a long and fraught process getting them ordered, assembled, addressed, and sent out and I'm very relieved to to see that task completed.

That said, the invitations are beautiful and elegant.

(Of course the idiots at UK Customs/UK Mail felt required to open our invitation before delivering it, just to make sure there was no terrorist threat inside.)

Bussels

Asti and I drove to Brussels early Tuesday morning to apartment hunt for her prior to her starting a new contract there on the following Monday. She was incredibly lucky to find a charming place in a stylish elevator building in the medieval part of the city. The area is filled with cafes offering inexpensive but good food and drinks daytime and music at night. Also a vast selection of excellent restaurants, artisanal shops, antiques, and museums. Streets are cobblestone and immaculate. You can smoke in bars and cafes and outdoor restaurants so it's all extremely civilized.

Photo of breakfast we had at local boulangere:

Frites stand along the boulevard:

You can see the rest of the photos I took in Brussels here

Blame Canada

June 23, 2010, 2:41 PM
Earthquake Shakes New York:

By THE NEW YORK TIMES

A 5.5-magnitude earthquake struck north of Ottawa on Wednesday afternoon, rattling buildings as far away as Vermont, Albany and even New York City.


CNN

5.5 magnitude quake strikes Canada; no major damage

[Updated at 2:55 p.m.] There has been no major damage reported so far from an earthquake that hit Canada today, the city of Toronto said in a press release.

"In our initial assessment, there has been no major damage to City infrastructure. Further investigations are taking place to confirm," the statement said. "The Toronto Transit Commission and Transportation Services have reported that there has been no damage to their infrastructure or interruptions to service.

"The City’s Emergency Operations Centre is up and running in preparation for the G20 so the City is uniquely prepared to respond to the event. We will continue to monitor the situation and will report as necessary."

Wales

Just returned from a holiday/shake-out trip to North Wales in the new car. The Honda handled it with grace and comfort and really good mileage. I think I want to replace the wiper blades but that's fussiness on my part.


The photos can be seen here:     http://www.flickr.com/photos/37159912@N00/sets/72157624253518622/

Shrek Forever After

I just saw Shrek Forever After and it was a happy ending to the series. They pulled the quality back up and regained the snappy humour of the original. Just a good, funny, clever film. Plus, as far as I'm concerned, the kitty still steals the show!

Advice

Hot Tub Time Machine

Since this film was released, I've thought, what a piece of rubbish that must be. But tonight I was bored, so bored that I started watching it. And it was amusing, and a funny ending that I enjoyed. 


::sigh::


Yeah, I'm easily amused. But this film turned out to be surprisingly good.

Holiday in Praia da Rocha, Portugal

Asti and I just returned from a few sunny days in Praia da Rocha, Portugal in the Algarve. Great vacation - great sun, great food, great wine. Beautiful place with lovely people.

Click on the photo to see the whole photo collection.

Flood of Spam Comments from China

I've resisted setting a word verification (captcha) on my blog for several years despite the increasing amount of spam posted as comments. In the beginning, the spam were comments with links to commercial sites ie porn, meds, get rich quick however, that's all changed now and for the past year or so the comments posted were solely Chinese ideogram spam. I'm tired of it and there's no other way to stop it than to require all comments be verified.

I hate spam and profoundly loathe its senders.

Speak Out for Freedom of Speech

Overheard in New York - on the subway

Angry commuter on cell phone ...

What the hell do you mean my flight has been cancelled?!?!
What kind of dog and pony show are you running with this airline?!?!
Give me one good reason…… did you just say a cloud of volcanic ash is spreading over Europe… seriously?
Okay, that’s good enough for me! Thanks for your time!

I thought Avatar was crap but this review details it so eloquently ;)

I hate Thunderbird

Curses upon Thunderbird and Mozilla! I hate them both. I wish them and all their minions 1000 years burning in hell. I trusted them when they told me I needed to update Thunderbird today, let Thunderbird update itself - and the bastards lost a mail folder's entire set of subfolders - which were where I stored ALL the emails from family and close friends. Arrrghhhhhh!!!!!They completely deleted them, they are gone, disappeared, not there - and yes, I checked in the application date area where Thunderbird stores mail.

Bastards. I hope they fry in hell.

Mothers Day in the UK

Astrid took me to Bath for a Mothers Day outing on Saturday. It's a 2.5 hour drive each way but we'd never been there before, always wanted to, and it combined 2 of my favorite things - an archeological site and a spa.
The archeological site is interesting - a surprising amount of the Roman baths remains including of course, the natural thermal springs. The modern spa built on part of the old site was an interesting experience but more suited to couples. The lavender steam room was really nice and their "lobster pot" style foot baths were amusing - Asti tried that but I don't know that it was a particular sensation. We didn't linger in any of their pools or whirlpools etc as there was too much couple action going on.

The Oscars

I was genuinely surprised and delighted with the Academy Awards this year. Of course, that's because I agreed with almost all their choices, the exceptions being mild and a "fair enough" imo.

I was hoping the Best Animated Film would go to The Secret of Kells - because I'm utterly smitten with this exquisite film. However, I liked Up and it was a charming film of the big-budget/major studio genre. It's just that The Secret of Kells is in the special and unique/haunts you forever genre.

I'm a fan of Sandra Bullock and consider her a class act all the way. So happy to see her get an Oscar.

And then we get to Best Film & Best Director and that was the big but delightful surprise. Hurt Locker is not and never will be "my sort of film" but it was a worthy film and an impressive and touching film. I watched it when it came out because my friend Bo said it was a must see. I trust his taste in films; he's had an almost 20 year successful run in good recommendations to me and hasn't steered me wrong yet. I agreed with his take on the film. I am just so pleased the film and moreso its director received the Best of award.

And now the time has come for my little reservoir of venom. I loathed Avatar and I am immeasurably pleased that neither the film nor its director won the award. When I watched Avatar I had a niggling feeling that it was somehow familiar, a real deja vu feeling. And I was right, it's a tarted up 3D, high end CGI Ferngully - and I loathed Ferngully when that came out, too. I won't continue because I truly thought this film was a piece of crap and the revenue it earned was just one more proof of H.L. Menkin's immortal words, "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people." Except in this case I would modify it by removing "American" because it applies to all people, everywhere. It was The Emperor's New Clothes. Etc, etc, etc.

Thus ends the lesson.
You may all go.

In other news, my father-in-law is driving down to London at the end of May to spend a few days visiting. We plan to take in a West End musical and have a family dinner somewhere nice afterward. And when he returns home, he will take the coach because he is leaving me his car! Yay! The people rejoice! I will be retiring my little 2 seater Mazda MX5 and driving his Honda from now on. Yay! Comfortable driving. Yay! Easy to get in and out of the car. Yay! It seats 5 in spacious comfort. Yay! It has a truck (boot) that can take an entire major grocery shopping or the normal luggage for 2 people going on a trip (actually it can hold generous amounts of luggage for 4). Yay! It has automatic steering - I'm ok with manual but my daughter only drives auto so finally we can share the driving on our road trips.
Yay!!!!! We can go out and offer friends a lift, we can invite friends to go with us. We can be sociable again.

My little Mazda MX5 is a sweetie. Dependable, thrifty with fuel, pleasant to drive. But we're getting too creaky to climb in and out of its tiny frame. Frankly, it's designed for short people, if you have long legs you are in trouble. And it's a convertible so it leaks a bit in heavy rain and the plastic back window is sort of a dead loss most of the time. I will miss driving with the top down on those rare warm, sunny days but not much else.

Do you speak English?

Exquisite - watch this video immediately!

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

Australian Bush Poetry

Where the Dead Men Lie
Barcroft Henry Boake

Out on the wastes of the "Never Never,"
That's where the dead men lie,
There where the heat-waves dance forever,
That's where the dead men lie;
That's where the Earth's lov'd sons are keeping
endless tryst - not the west wind sweeping
feverish pinions, can wake their sleeping -
Out where the dead men lie!

Where brown Summer and Death have mated,
That's where the dead men lie,
Loving with fiery lust unsated,
That's where the dead men lie;
Out where the grinning skulls bleach whitely,
Under the saltbush sparkling brightly,
Out where the wild dogs chorus nightly,
That's where the dead men lie.

Deep in the yellow, flowing river,
That's where the dead men lie,
Under the banks where the shadows quiver,
That's where the dead men lie;
Where the platypus twists and doubles,
leaving a trail of tiny bubbles;
Rid at last of their earthly troubles,
That's where the dead men lie.

East and backward pale faces turning,
That's how the dead men lie;
Gaunt arms stretched with a voiceless yearning,
That's how the dead men lie;
Oft in the fragrant hush of nooning,
Hearing again their mother's crooning,
Wrapt for aye in a dreadful swooning,
That's how the dead men lie.

Nought but the hand of Night can free them;
That's when the dead men fly;
Only the frightened cattle see them -
See the dead men go by;
Cloven hoofs beating out one measure,
Bidding the stockman know no leisure,
That's when the dead men take their pleasure,
That's when the dead men fly.

Ask, too, the never-sleeping drover,
He sees the dead pass by,
Hearing them call to their friends - the plover,
Hearing the dead men cry.
Seeing their faces stealing, stealing,
Hearing their laughter pealing, pealing,
Watching their grey forms wheeling, wheeling
Round where the cattle lie.

Strangled by thirst and fierce privation -
That's how the dead men die
Out on "Moneygrub's" furthest station,
That's how the dead men die;
Hardfaced greybeards, youngsters callow,
Some mounds cared for, some left fallow,
Some deep down, yet others shallow,
Some having but the sky.

"Moneygrub" as he sips his claret
Looks with complacent eye
Down at his watch-chain, eighteen-carat,
There in his club hard by:
Recks not that every link is stamped with
Names of the men whose limbs are cramped with
Too long lying in grave-mould, camped with
Death where the dead men lie.

Crazy Cats

Charles Manson was 5'2"
That says so much, explains so much

SysAdmin appreciation day

Brilliant Ad Campaign by Frontier Airlines

Watch them all!!

W8ing4Godot

W8ing4Godot from 15 Second Film Festival on Vimeo.

This is the cutest commercial I've seen in a long time - for Tea

Funniest video I've seen in ages

The Downfall of Agile Hitler

Secret video footage of the Nazi's last agile planning meeting: Hitler goes crazy when he learns that his team has not been following the tenets of the agile manifesto..

Top 50 job interview questions answered the way they should be

With many thanks to Examiner.com (where you can find this and much, much more!)
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Welcome to the world of ambiguity.

Job interviews are often filled with unnecessary questions and ambiguity. The problem is so common that I often dream about the opportunity to apply for a job I don't want just to see how it unfolds. Based on the top 50 interview questions available at Trader's Psychology (the undisputed leader of all things Job Interview), I have provided an example of how that interview might go down:

1. Tell me about yourself:
Do you want the whole thing or just bits and pieces. I have a very 'storied' past.

2. Why did you leave your last job?
I didn't. It left me.

3. What experience do you have in this field?
I have worked in it.

4. Do you consider yourself successful?
Yes.

5. What do co-workers say about you?
I've never asked them to talk about me.

6. What do you know about this organization?
That you have a job opening.

7. What have you done to improve your knowledge in the last year?
I have read the news and I watch public television and listen to public radio.

8. Are you applying for other jobs?
Not at the moment, but I applied for tons of jobs earlier this week.

9. Why do you want to work for this organization?
I don't recall saying I did. Do you already know why you want me to work for you?

10. Do you know anyone who works for us?
No, if I did, I probably wouldn't have to sit through this BS.

You can read the rest of the questions & answers at http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-3040-Minneapolis-Life-in-the-Cubicle-Examiner~y2009m4d1-Top-50-job-interview-questions-answered-the-way-they-should-be

It's been a long crazy month since I last posted on here. My son Andrew & his fiance Joanna visited us over the long Thanksgiving Day weekend. Great to see them again, pity the weather was lousy but that's London in November for you.

My manager at work - ugh, less said the better. She's an obsessive micro-manager/backseat driver/passive aggressive bully type who fills empty time with endless pressured make-work. I'll leave at the end of my contract (or sooner if I can). No amount of money is worth that sort of abuse.

Today is my birthday.

So starts the holiday season. I need to send emails to friends to catch up since I've gone silent lately. Need to send out Christmas cards.

I really need to get a new desk chair.

And now, good night.

Woke up this morning to a working internet connection and the news that we have a new President. I'm hoping for the best now.  Especially because Obama has majorities in both House & Senate. (One wishes the Brits would learn a lesson from the US and throw out Gordon Brown and Labour - but it would take energy and effort, putting your money where your mouth is, and Brits don't do that. Their forte is moaning, blamecasting, and bullying.)

People generally get the government they deserve.  I think this political sea change in the US has brought us back to where we should be.

Arrgh! My ISP is having a DNS "major issues" so I can't connect to US sites - or maybe 80% of the internet or something horrible. Nightmare.

YES!!
My residence visa was approved - passport (and documents) arrived in the mail today.

You need to watch The Secret Life of Bees. Exquisite film. And Queen Latifah once again is magical.

So finally "only" three months after I applied for my new visa under their premium same day service for £950 (almost $2,000 for you in the states), the UK Border Agency admitted to my MP's office that they had made a decision on my application and would contact me with the result in due course.

This comes after they told us the day I applied that everything was in order and I should just go have a cup of coffee while they glued it into my US Passport. 15 minutes later everything changed as they admitted they had "misplaced" my file and couldn't do anythign without it. Of course the concept of looking for it never occured to them until weeks later when my MP's office demanded something be done about locating the file. Then it became a major case of CYA and try to pretend it wasn't anything to do with them, that they needed to make further inquiries to assure themselves that Alan & I were genuinely married, etc.

Do you miss the old Soviet State? Pine no more, welcome to socialist Britain.

Oh my god! This is so amazing and fantastic - I found my best friend after we'd been separated and lost track of each other for 30 years. And, like real best friends, it's as if we were never apart, it's still exactly the same. Oh my god - it's Barb & Irma again! Yay!!!

I'm almost stunned with delight. She is, too. We've been looking for each other and checking the internet and finally luck was with us and we found each other again.

We've both traveled far away from our roots in the Bronx, New York. Irma ended up in Buenos Aires and I, of course in London.

We've already exchanged long middle of the night catch-up emails and plan a long phone conversation on Saturday. And yes, I'm already checking air fares to Argentina - it's the ideal trip for this winter since it will be warm and sunny there in February.

I'm too overwhelmed still to write more but had to shout it this morning.

What a surprise, another 5607 crap emaiils downloading now. This is getting really ugly

Ugh, finally got all the crap mail downloaded, marked, and removed to the trash. The final tally is over 20,000! All returned mail from some bastard spammer who spoofed my address. You would think sysadmins would know how to check the real sender address by now. But no, lazy, slovenly mail is the rule of the internet.
What a time wasting nightmare that's been. And probably more to come.

Thunderbird is currently downloading over 10,000 emails for me right now. Yes, 10,000 emails - all SPAM related. Someone spoofed my email address on some spam and voila, I'm getting 10,000 undeliverable notifications.
I really believe in the physical punishment for the people who do this. Very psinful physical punishment.

OMG! I just -finally- watched Frequency. What a film, fabulous. For years friends have told me to watch it and somehow I just never thought it was my sort of film. What an idiot I was. But at least it was a perfect choice for a quiet Sunday night. If you haven't seen it, you should. Really excellent.
IMDB review: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0186151/

I've been watching a lot of films this summer since with the 2 eye surgeries my ability to read print has been severely limited. I'll be fine once it's all healed but in the interim, reading is not fun-damental. I save my eye strength for work where I must read or die- no choice if I want to keep my job. Although on that front, I have had 2 successful job interviews for a very exciting new position that I want very badly. I'll probably know on Tuesday if they are going to make a job offer. The suspense is killing me. This is a permanant job, not a contract. It's a significant upward step for my career and it's simply the most exciting opportunity. Per their HR dept both interviews produced very good impressions. They interviewed 4 people including me on the first round and then only me on the 2nd. I will be very stunned if I don't get the job. HR said the reason for the decision delay was that the woman who would do the HR paperwork for the hiring was on vacation through Monday and back Tuesday and my agent would get their decision then. Oh man, oh man, as they say, I can almost taste it.

Fingers crossed for this one, boys and girls.

City of Memory

http://www.cityofmemory.org/

City of Memory is an online community map of personal stories and memories organized on a physical geographical map of New York City.

It's a great deal more but it needs a lot more people to add their stories. Please add yours!

So, home from Moorefield Eye Hospital after repeat surgery to reattach the edge of my retina. No tears is the good bit and it looks like that edge simply didn't reattach fully the first time. So extra careful this time to make sure all goes perfectly. 

Phoeey, hate this stuff.

LHC Compact Muon Solenoid Experiment Webcams

There are currently two webcams online

Camera 7: looking at the Underground Experimental Cavern from the Saleve side.
Camera 8: looking out of the window of the 1st Floor of the SCX building that houses the CMS Control room.


http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html

Just when you thought life was settling down it rises up and smacks you upside the head.

I came home from work today and noticed a few black specks in my right eye's vision. This is a bit frightening for me because that's the eye that just had a detached retina and I just had surgery to correct in July. At 2 follow up visits the doctors assured me it was healing beautifully, perfectly, I was the one who beat the odds and was going to get a full recovery.

Until tonight when I saw those specks. An hour later I suddenly saw a familiar shadow in my right eye's vision - that was it, game over. I knew that shape - it's the retina detaching again.

I did all the sensible things. Called the eye hospital A&E (emergency room for us Yanks). They said come down right now. So I grabbed a cab and went. Two hours and a lot of bright lights and eye drops, etc later, the eye doctor confirmed the retina was starting to detach again. So being a UK hospital they sent me home at 1 am. I have to be back at the hospital at 8 am in the morning when I'll find out if and when they'll re-operate. It's a queue here - who knows if they will take me right into surgery or make me wait days (while the eye gets worse).

I just can't believe this bad luck.

And just when I was going to post how life had settled down. Life was starting to go well. Work was going well, contract was going to be renewed. Who knows what will happen now.

Damn.

So it seems the world didn't end today ;)

Scientists fire up giant atom smasher
Deep beneath the border of France and Switzerland, scientists Wednesday fired up one of the most ambitious experiments ever conceived, firing protons around a 27-kilometer (17-mile) tunnel to try to unlock the secrets of the universe.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/10/lhc.collider/index.html

Go Science! CERN rocks!

So much for the idiot-brigade doomsayers. The sky is not yet falling.

Three weeks now since I expected my agency to deposit my paycheck. Arrgh, what complete incompetence. This is wrecking my budget. It doesn't matter how much you make if you can't rely on them to deposit your funds promptly and reliably.

Food Meme
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating..

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin - only once and it was disgusting. Never again
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips 61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill 76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare/Rabbit
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Tuesday was Alan and my 2nd anniversary. We talked about it and are pleasantly surprised at how well it's worked out. Yes, the usual snags and spats and complaints but we have been friends for so many years I guess we're used to that part by now. On the other hand, reflecting back over 2 years, we're still happy about our decision. We decided to celebrate with a long weekend somewhere in Sept - budget realities and my eye is still healing so this week was not a goer.

Slowly, slowly my eye is healing and recovering from surgery. Vision is still fuzzy. I'll know more when I see the consultant on Tuesday. I have a list of questions for him. But, so far, so good.

In other news it's miserably hot and humid here. So oppressive one wants to do nothing at all. Perhaps sip iced tea, take a shower but that's the limit of ambition.

Give credit where credit is due - the NHS has a few (miniscule but they are there) things right - the Moorfield Vitroretinal Emergency Clinic is one of them. It's absolutely no-frills, low comfort, no amenities BUT, and here is the diamond, the consultants are brilliant, the nurses are top notch, they actually have reasonably up-to-date equipment, and they class ALL retinal detachments are genuine emergencies which need same day surgery. Bravo them! (I'm bringing them a huge box of chocolates to say thank yoou when I go back next week for my 10 day progress assessment)

My eye is healing slowly but steadily. I've started driving locally. No idea how completely restored vision will be yet.

Tuesday I had surgery for a detached retina. Totally unexpected, unplanned.

Had some fuzziness in my right eye on Monday, went right to my optician after work. She spotted the problem immediately and made arrangements for me to be seen by a specialist that night. She insisted on my going then and there - well done! I would have waited till morning normally or gone to the local hospital which is next door to where we live. But she was insistent on my doing it right. Of course, that was the one night Alan wasn't coming straight home from work. He was over in east London sorting out some computer problem for a friend. I phoned him to let him know but being London, he was over 90 min minimum mass transit trip home - I would have to go on my own if I intended to see the doctor before closing time. So I managed to carefully drive home and park, call a taxi and wisk off to St George's Hospital.

The ophthalmologist at St George's confirmed a detached retina and arranged an appointment for me for 8am the next morning at Moorfield Eye Hospital for surgical evaluation. The trick with a detached retina is that it all happens fast so you need surgery immediately to halt further damage and hopefully repair what is already damaged.

Tuesday morning at 7:30 am Alan & I were at Moorfield at the emergency vitroretinal surgery clinic. By 8am a specialist Opthalmologist was confirming I needed immediate laser surgery and scheduling me for the first appointment that afternoon. Three hours later I had the surgery - under local anaesthetic - and by 3pm I was phoning Alan to let him know I was ready to go home. The actual surgery took less than 45 minutes.

So such is my merry week. My right eye will have distorted vision while it slowly heals. It sort of looks like seeing underwater. The itching drives me nuts at times. The 5 different kinds of eye drops used 4 times a day drives me nuts. The head positioning I need to keep in mind and conform to drives me crazy. Etc. But all worth it if I can come out of this with vision restored to normal.

Life's a bitch. And there's no viable alternative. Soldier on, there's nothing to see here, those aren't the droids you're looking for.

Everybody Hates Being Outvictimized

(Native American cop is arresting a black man)
Black man: Fuckin' discrimination, man! Leave me the fuck alone! I ain't done nothin wrong!
Native American Cop: Fuck you! We were oppressed first!
Black man: Apache motherfucker!

(Overheard in New York ---82nd St, Queens)

I passed the "Life in the UK" test today.

Yes, ladies and gents, that is a real, official UK gov't required test you must pass to get a resident visa/citizenship here.

They made me swear to secrecy about the questions. really. ( To protect the guilty, I suppose - I could have played Vegas with these questions and had them rolling in the aisles)

Conductor: This is 81st street. Get off here for the big museum of dead stuff.

--Uptown C Train

Just got an email that an old friend of Alan's has died. Funeral next week. We'll go to the memorial afterwards at the pub to toast her memory. I remember her as a rather nice, funny old woman. She was a local Councillor and stood for the environment in a very practical and sensible manner. She was a smoker, a fellow exile. (No she didn't die from smoking!)

Update on the burn. I've never had a burn like this before. Usually the skin gets a bit red or at worst, I get blisters, which usually break) and then it gets scabby and starts to heal. This time, no visible blisters. The skin is a dark reddish brown and swollen where it was burned and I suspect the blisters are deep below. It hurts. It hurts a hell of a lot.

So, deciding to take advantage of the much lauded NHS "free" medical care which I pay vast amounts of my tax money into, I stopped at the A&E walk in clinic. The so-called medical person who looked at my hand advised me, "that's burned innit?". No shit, Sherlock. So what did he propose to do about it? A nice perscription burn cream to take away the sting and pain? Oh no, he suggested "don't do anything rough with it" and "let nature take its course". And that I should take some paracetomol is the pain kept me from sleeping. Nothing else, not even some sensible advice like wash gently to keep it clean.

Waste of my time. This is a serious burn. The NHS can be good at times but sadly, most of the time they are little better than the witchdoctor.

It took over 5 hours of iced wraps and painkiller tablets to bring the burn pain down to function level. It's 9:30 pm now and the hand still hurts and is stiff. There aren't blisters yet but the skin is swollen in the pattern of the boiling water inpact.

damn, damn, damn! I burned my right hand this morning making coffee. Splashed boiling water all over the top of my hand.

I stayed calm and grabbed for the "cooling burn spray" we keep handy on the kitchen counter. What garbage! Useless and didn't work. I turned on the cold water and stuck my hand under the running water as fast as I could. Now that is relief. I don't know why the spray didn't work but it didn't. So here I am an hour later, after soaking the hand in bowls of ice and water to cool down the skin and prevent further damage. And it still hurts like hell.

And so tomorrow my little "vacation" comes to an end. Wednesday morning at 9am will find me at my new job. That's the good news. The bad news is that my agency has a monthly pay schedule. I know that a monthly pay cycle is the general rule in the UK, especially for higher level jobs, but I've been lucky in that, up till now my jobs paid on a weekly basis. The money is obviously exactly the same either way. The only difference is that I have to wait a l-o-n-g time for my first paycheck and have to budget a bit more carefully.

In other news, the time has come for me to make a decision on my name. Do I switch over to my married name completely or do I keep using my former name which most people know and use? If I intend to switch, I need to call the US Embassy tomorrow, sort out the details, and overnight my passport to them to replace. Then at the end of July, I will be able to renew my visa in my married name - the UK authorities will only issue a visa in the name on my passport.

Whatever I decide, July is going to be a very tight financial month and August only a little less so. In August I'll have the pleasure of paying the UK gov't £1000 (yes, one thousand pounds sterling) to issue me my new visa. All so that I can continue working and paying that same UK government my obscene taxes for which they provide amazingly little in return. (Other than the opportunity to loathe Gorden Brown.)

Despite Alan's ambitious plans for spending my salary, I plan to pay off my credit cards as fast as I can and do some serious saving to create a reasonable safety cushion. I've already made a mark in the sand on IBgames. I'm not putting a single penny of my money into it. I know the annual company taxes/business license/whatever it is will soon be due. Last year, we paid half the cost because the claim was made that the company's income was only barely enough to cover its expenses and no funds were being used to pay the CEO a salary. This is bullshit. She is actually withdrawing a small but tidy amount every month. (An interesting point to me since ALL income in excess of the data center monthly charge were supposed to be divided evenly between the CEO, Alan, and me but I've never seen 1 penny out of it.) So I've informed Alan that when the bill arrives from the Isle of Man for the annual company accounts, the CEO will have to fund the £2-3,000 it runs. If she can't, then the company will have to dissolve or find some other source of funds.

Anyway, I had a lovely day in Calais with Asti on Saturday. We had lunch in a restaurant that I would happily recommend to anyone - La Sole Meuniere in Calais, old town near the yacht basin.

I start a new job on Wednesday as a project manager in Disaster Recovery at GlaxoSmithKline. The offices are a 5 minute drive from my house - astounding!

The night too quickly passes

And we are growing old,

So let us fill our glasses

And toast the Days of Gold;

When finds of wondrous treasure

Set all the South ablaze,

And you and I were faithful mates all through the Roaring Days.

Henry Lawson, "The Roaring Days"

How can they not have cottage cheese?

So here I am trying to move to a healthier diet. More fruit and vegetables, less bread and pasta, you know the drill. So I was shopping at Tesco's and for crying out loud, they don't sell plain cottage cheese.

They sell disgusting low-fat cottage cheese with it's plastic texture and taste. They sell plain low fat cottage cheese, low-fat cottage cheese with cheddar, with pineapple (and lots of pineapple juice to make it a soggy goo), with alien vegetable combos, and with corn and tuna and sweet chili - I can't even begin to describe how revolting that sounds to me. And yes, they do sell one variety of regular cottage cheese - with added creme fraiche - which makes it a loose, liquidy, creamy strangeness, tasting like you are eating lumpy cream, forget the cotage cheese.

Ugh! All I wanted was some plain regular cottage cheese to provide protein for my lunches.

But no, not in 3rd world Britain.

You can't even trust your familiar old brands to be safe here - they "localise" the recipes. Thus Cheerios that are sweet from the box, 7UP that is tooth achingly sweet, Heinz ketchup and Hellman's mayonaise that have strong distinct vinegar tangs.

It's not that I am being jingoistic about American products. It's quite a different story on the other side of the channel in France and Belguim ( not to mention Switzerland). Asti & I routinely do day trips over the Channel and shop in the French Hypermarts or the Bruges farmers market and their food is gorgeous.

I've heard a lot of talk about the "New British Cooking" all full of self-praising accolates. It's rubbish. Whatever they make might manage to look pretty but by and large it tastes pretty mediocre or gross. (We won't even start with the cost of food here because that itself is enough to sicken you!)

Not to say you can't go to some restaurants and find fantastic food. You can. We do. I just had dim sum at Yauatcha in Broadwick Street, Soho, London. Oh my god it's fantastic. Must orders: baked venison puffs, almond prawns - and the beef ho fun is to die for!

But sometimes all you want is some cottage cheese for a simple lunch with sliced fresh fruit on top. And fuggeddaboudit, it ain't happening here.