Today's morbidly amusing incident - but first some background to place it in context:

Britain is a strangely chaotic and unfair country compared to the United States. In the US, we are accustomed to the Rule of Law. And all, theoretically, are equal under the law and entitled to many rights enumerated in Law. In Britain, they have far fewer laws, what they have here are "guidelines". This means you actually live in a very gray legal situation were you have few rights and who you know and who you can intimidate shape the sort of life you will lead.

As well, this is a very provincial society for all they are a "First World" nation and incessantly sneer at Americans as ignorant and small minded.

So with this in mind, we briefly flash back to the events of 2 weeks ago on June 29th.

At 5pm on June 29th my fiance and I had an appointment at our local Registrar's office to attend to give Notice Of Intent to Marry. Normally this office is open 8:30am - 4pm, but a week previously when I had phoned to check details of the process, I had (typical American, I complained) expressed intense dismay that my fiance would have to take a day off work to register when he had just taken off so many days due to surgery. Compassionately, the lady I was speaking with revealed they maintained a secret "special out of hours appointments" service and made our appointment for -after work- the next week! Now I really appreciated this courtesy BUT, the right and fair way to offer a courtesy like this would have been to note it on the information site so everyone had a chance at it and just had to prove its need. Most Brits don't complain, they suffer silently in public and grumble privately and resentments grow.

Moving on in time to June 29th...We show up at the Registrar's office, and for an hour we fill out forms, answer silly questions in rediculous regimented routine, and then the moment comes when I pass over my divorce document. This was the original issue divorce document from the State of Pennsylvania, with the gold foil seal and impression of the sealing machine. The Registrar stared at the document and then pulled out a large loose-leaf binder and started to compare it to documents pictured on the pages. After a while she finished and looking up at me she annonced that my divorce document would not do as it didn't match any of the authorized American divorce documents in her book.

I was puzzled, I said, it was an official original PA divorce decree and had already been approved by the UK Home Office when they issued me my "marriage visa". Nevertheless, the lady explained, the Registrar's Office was a different branch of gov't and had to approve it themselves. I couldn't understand why there was a problem untill the lady said, "We have photocopies of what the official Amercian divorce decrees look like from the issuing authorities in California, Texas, Florida, and New York and yours doesn't match."

Duh! Perhaps that was because MY decree was from Pennsylvania! At this point a classic insane culture confusion type conversation took place. I finally pointed out that those decrees she had copies of were from only 4 of the US states and that we had a whole additional 46 other states to choose from to get divorced in and that they all proudly and legally issued their very own divorce certificates. This resulted in some major running about from office to office consulting other civil servants, none of whom wanted to take responsibility for many a sensible decision. Finally it was decided to hold on to my divorce decree and send it on for examination and approval by the Chief Registrar of the UK. Good grief! I was told that if my decree was approved, copies of it would be made and distributed to registrars all over England to add to their little American Divorce Decree Sample books.

Good grief!

So I waited the requested 10 days to allow them to make up their minds and phoned in to find out if my decree was approved as legit. The office had no clue when I explained what I was calling about ( no surprise there!) and took my phone number and promsed to call back.

Today, just before 5pm I get a call from the Registrar's office. My divorce decree has been accepted and the Registration is approved - sort of, kind of, god forbid anyone here give a plain, simple answer.

The real story is, having receieved my PA divorce degree at the National Top Registrar's Office, it was passed about and everyone sort of looked at it and said, "huh" and " never heard of Pennsylvania, where is it then?" Since there are no laws to follow, only guidelines, they finally decided to dubiously and sceptically approve it without ANY CLUE whether it was genuine and without bothering to even check with the US authorities here in London who would easily have assured them it was legit.

Instead, typically, it has been approved with a warning that "we rely on both the applicant parties' assurances that this is a legitimate document, understanding that it is entirely dependant upon their attestations that the legitimacy of the marriage rests."

Woah, is that nuts or what?

But, the morbidly amusing bit I promised... When the lady from the Registrar's office phoned me, she hadn't even bothered to get out my file and check my name. Instead, when I answered the phone she asked, "Are you the American who's marrying ONE OF OUR BOYS?"

Oh my goodness ;)