I thought it was supposed to start getting easier after not smoking for a few days - not so here. After a fairly mild first week I'm suddenly and rapidly developing physical withdrawal symptoms. They're the miseries I'd been warned about loud and clear. I can only hope they're a last hurrah and by tomorrow morning they start fading away. Otherwise it's going to get ugly around here.

Originally dated 2005 from when Asti & I were living in Basel, Switzerland
Another mostly useless wasted week. Very limited access to my computer so my productivity was close to zero. Got all the papers to apply for the visa but no tiene los dinero - ie. All the nice offers and promises went up in smoke when the time to put up or shut up arrived, Asti's friend Robin even went back on his offer to give me a job interview/expression of interest letter to include with my application.

So add all the endless crap on top of crap and add to that an early winter settling in which a stunning cold spell. It's been in the 30s-40s F. the past few days and I'm feeling ill, cold or flu coming on. There's no heat in the house either! The landlord ddn't bother turning it on when the temps started regularly sinking into the 30's and 40. Oh joy! The rent is almost 3000 SFr a month but no heat so we're huddling wrapped in blankets.

Someone must have complained because we finally started getting heat at 4pm today. Not real heat yet but the ends of the radiators have started to warm. It will take many hours to warm this apt tho because most of the exterior walls are vast expanses of glass. I'm hopeful tho and at least it's one cheery note in a bleek vista.

So, no visa and no money to cover the fee. I'm going to have to find a way because I -must- have that visa. Without it I can't legally work. I can't go thru that nightmare again. Perhaps I'll have to take my sterling silver flatware from Asti and sell it. I was going to just let it be, but whatever.

Oh, and that is the positive side compared to all the other crazy stuff going on.
1. Asti's new house lease/tenancy isn't approved yet - so
2. She can't agree on a delivery date with the movers
3. The movers want payment upfront which is ok because Asti has more than enough in her pension account to cover the move.
4. Except Switzerland's anti-female laws require a signed notarized statement from Nick. Who is in deepest Oxforshire currently.
5. And they want a signed letter from him and a copy of his passport.
6. Both notarized
7. We don't have the paperwork for the 3 cats to travel yet
8. We don't have train reservations for us to go from Basel to London
9. It gets worse, believe me. And I haven't even gone into Alan being depressed because he's so broke lately.

I think a hot shower is needed right now.

And a new storyline! Damn, why isn't there a nice, kindly god who could change it all

Must have HOT shower. Must get warm warm warm ...

A week without cigarettes. Surviving. I'm still reaching for one and still feel it between my fingers as I reach for that first relaxing puff with my coffee. But nothing I could identify as physical. Just memories of the pleasant gesture.
But, it's a week, 7 days and I'm moving on ok.

Day 5 - quitting smoking cold turkey. I had to stop smoking; couldn't afford the cost any more. A depressing choice which provides me no support or comfort in the withdrawal process. Meh - what a misery.